| Santa Cruz on a Friday Afternoon |
[Mar. 12th, 2004|07:16 pm] |
It was fucking glorious! And Santa Cruz already is. This is a good thing, especially since I am starting to get to know my way around there and I won't feel so lost when (if) I get accepted. Then I can escape and move away, which will be just as glorious as this afternoon.
I love the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and I love this song too. Not just because this was their breakthough song, but because it reminds me of driving with my family and it makes me feel kind of warm and fuzzy, as depressing as this song is.
Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
-Catherine |
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| "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." |
[Mar. 9th, 2004|09:14 pm] |
Right now I feel like the fresh prince of Bel Aire, I'm gonna tell you "how my life got flip turned upside down." Half of me wishes that it hadn't changed from the summer, the other half is extremely grateful for everything that has happened since then.
I guess what I really want to talk about is my lack of judgement...sometimes I think I'm doing a decent job on making decisions in my life, but later I tend to rethink it.
I'm talking about what happened with Andi. I wouldn't take it back in a million years, no matter how many people agreed with what I did, or how many people think that it wasn't right (which is like, three...two of which are opinions I don't value, and the other one is not influencial to my life in any way.)
I'm glad I slammed her against a wall. I'm glad I told her to stop calling me stupid. I'm glad that I am no longer dependent on her to give me advice or an opinion no matter how much I disagree with it. I'll say it factually and I don't care who reads this: She was, for the most part, the SHITTIEST friend I've ever had. I'm glad she's gone. Then are a buttload of reasons and examples to back it up, and for the people that know the both of us pretty close, they know what I'm talking about.
For anyone else, I don't give a flying fuck.
I do miss being able to call her late at night if I had a problem and talk to her, some of the various driving adventures we had, her family was nice, and her cat was cute. But other than that, she sucked at being a friend. She ditched me to hang out with guys or have sex with her boyfriend (which is CLEARLY more important), she lied, she made me feel bad, she was selfish, hypocritical, and narrow-minded; and for that, I'm glad she's out of my life.
I like my own views on life too much to care about what most other people think. Really it doesn't matter, unless by some freak alternate universe someone else is really living in my body, then they can make decisions for me and form my opinions and experience me experiences.
-Catherine |
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| Behind the counter |
[Mar. 8th, 2004|09:20 pm] |
Work is funny. Sunday night this lady drove through the drive-thru and she was all mad because we don't accept ATM because we don't have the equipment for it. She was like, "well I was going to buy food but you guys are like the only people who don't take ATM..."
I wasn't sorry at all, the lady was being a total bitch. And besides, it doesn't matter if we don't accept ATM, I don't have to power to fix it. So she should have shut up.
Aaron made me cry the other night because I was trying to move the cars through really fast and I wasn't handing out lap mats. Sarah yelled "pay-window! Hand out lapmats!" And then Aaron said in the calmest voice ever, "we just just talked about that in our meeting. If you don't wanna hand out lap mats, the door is in the Dining Room." I had a pretty shitty day and I felt terrible for disappointing him and I just wanted to float out of the window and leave forever.
That's all I have to say on that. Tomorrow I'll write about the current social issues I've got. FUN TIMES!
-Catherine |
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| I'm not the one to talk to... |
[Mar. 7th, 2004|09:34 pm] |
Dear God I have so much to say. But I don't have any time to write it all down. I don't care if anyone decides to read this new journal, it's just a segway to my real journal since I can type faster than I can write. Then I'll just copy it all over into Mr. Purple.
I suppose I could make this like a TV show with different episodes. This will be like a commercial for it. "stay tuned for tomorrow's episode: Behind the counter-what it's really like to work in a fast food joint."
-Catherine |
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| The beginning... |
[Mar. 5th, 2004|10:30 pm] |
I'm taking all you down with me
Explosives duct taped to my spine
Nothings gonna change my mind
I won't listen to anyone's last words
There's nothing left for you to say
Soon you'll be dead anyway
No one here is getting out alive
This time I've really lost my mind and I don't care
So close your eyes
And kiss yourself goodbye
And think about the times you spent and what they've ment
To me its nothing...
I'm losing all my happiness
The happiness YOU pinned on me
Loneliness still comforts me
My anger DWELLS inside of me
I'm taking it all out on you
And all the shit you put me through
No one here is getting out alive
This time I've really lost my mind and I don't care
So close your eyes
And kiss yourself goodbye
And think about the times you spent and what they've ment
To me its nothing...
Do you ever thing back to another time?
Does it bring you so down that you thought you lost you're mind?
Do you ever want to lead a long trail of destruction
and mow down any BULLSHIT that comfronts you?
Do you ever build up all the small things in your head?
To make one problem that adds up to NOTHING
To me its nothing...
Only Green Day... |
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